what i'm afraid of is when the shaved head dyed blonde dyke looks at me drummin' down the street doesn't see me as her brother sees me more like an enemy what it is is when i smile at the perfectly beautiful old man for all to see with his magical years and physical presence and he looks at me warily (come on down) what i'm afraid of is not being able to figure out the sadness when i've got everything set up: supper on the porch legs stretched summer night quiet city sky covered with an ocean of dark cloud heat lightning silently wiggling a loose connection making it all wash out ___________________? i look for this entry less afraid

trapped and my mind craves the rain wind blows my vision to shaking water-gaze into nothin' through wind depth into windows high and screaming loneliness and square rooms bathed in hard shadows to die in i am an orange invader in a flock of lacy shepherds i am a soft, white seed in the storm one tree backed by brick learning not to yearn for completeness running cold fingers over concrete footprints i press hard wishing my hand solid, impenetrable, unshaken

sneaking a bit of sky for a time healing some cracked view from inside no one budges the shutters all winter women in shawls open and close all the doors here sneaking a bit of sky from glass for a time x2 the moon is on on after the hassles that accompany the sun the moon is on on after the hassles that accompany the sun women in shawls close and open all the doors here white melting in the night lights x3 ______________________? all winter, all winter, all winter ______________________? women in shawls open and close all the doors here only thing we've got is the radio white melting in the lights sneaking a bit of sky for a time white melting in the night lights

father's here for me can't see what to say mom fly over me she looks down at me mom fly over me she looks down at me she has light again i can't fight for her gram fly over me she looks down at me can't see what to say tries to anyway she has light again i can't fight for her father's here for me can't see what to say mom fly over me she looks down at me she has light again she has light again i can't fight for her they are here for me i don't look at them gram fly over me she looks down at me can't see what to say tries to anyway she has light again she has light again i can't fight for her father's here for me can't see what to say mom fly over me she looks down at me she has light again she has light again i can't fight for her i can't fight for her they are here for me i don't look at them gram fly over me she look down at me can't see what to say tries to anyway she has light again i can't fight for her i can't fight for her i can't fight for her father's here for me can't see what to say father's here for me can't see what to say father's here for me can't see what to say mom fly over me she looks down at me she has light again i can't fight for her they are here for me i don't look at them gram fly over me she looks down at me can't see what to say tries to anyway she has light again i can't fight for her i can't fight for her i cant fight for her i cant fight for her they are here for me i don't look at them gram fly over me she looks down at me can't see what to say she has light again